


It Rains and It Pours When You're Out on Your Own

by Calicornia



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 09:16:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20543750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calicornia/pseuds/Calicornia
Summary: Fugo has just left the gucci gang, and he was in need of some carbs.





	1. Chapter 1

Beach City, Italy. The town of dreams, except for Fugi's dreams. He hadn't slept in weeks, six weeks to be exact. He knew, just knew, that Narancia, Bruno, and Abbacchio were dead. He could smell it from miles away.

All Fugo wanted right now, was a snack to calm his nerves. He walked too fast, but at what cost? He mispelled his legs, and entered the Big Donut. A decrepid apocalypic nightmare of a gluten laden bakery, but it would do for now.

A man around his age leaned on the counter, his earlobes resembling the donuts he was selling. His hair a shock of orange on his otherwise bald head 

"Ew, it's a homosexual. Sadie get the broom." Lars cringed at the sight of the swiss cheese looking ass. His baseballs were ready to be thrown, why was he like this.

"Why are you like this, Lars?" Sadie slapped him with the broom. Wrong move, Miller, Lars is a homosexual now.

"S-Sadie change me back!" Lars screamed, his straightness fading away. Bye bye khaki shorts, hello peepee!

Fugo watched in horror, he had to say something.

"I couldn't care less about your sexual orientation, I just want a damn gluten free donut." 

Lars laughed, he couldn't be serious.

Sadie also laughed, because she wanted to conform to society. Not because it was funny, she is secretly homophobic despite deciding who's gay and who isn't. The year was twentyhomophobia, and Miller was trying to unlearn her prejudice.

"Are you kidding? Do you not know that Beach City, Italy is the biggest gluten mine in the world?" Lars pulled out his gluten filled work clothes, he was the chosen gluten miner. He was to mine gluten every other week, supplying it to every citizen. Thank you for your service, Barriga. Too bad for you, there's a terrible fate in your wake.

"Hmmm.." Fugo held in his anger, he couldn't let Purple Haze come out of THIS closet. "Have you maybe perhaps considered that you are... GLUTEN INTOLERANT!" Fugo whipped out his soup beam, and aimed at the fuckboy.

The fuckboy fell back, the donuts spilling all over the floor. Without their glass cases, they did something not at all expected.

They came to life.


	2. Chapter 2

The donuts claimed Lars' eye for his own.

The year was now TwentyLarsAndFugoGotMarried, my favorite year!

It had been a long time since the donut incident, since they both abruptly left their respective shows to fight donut demons.

Sadie was happy for Lars, but was also homophobic so she called Lars Fugo's wife.

"Honey, can you grab the salt?" Lars was making salt. His husband had just gotten home from the store, with more salt.

"Here, sweetheart in Italian." Fugo kissed Lars' cheeck and slid the salt infront of him. The mohawk having ass smiled and poured the mineral into a bowl. He craved it, but not as much as he craved Fugo's ass.

Fugo sat at the table, eagerly awaiting his meal. A bowl was placed gently in front of him. It was empty, except for a mountain of salt. The mountain was so large, it was as if Markiplier stood atop it.

"Eat up, my love." Lars smiled, and began to eat his own bowl of salt. The salty snack, yummy yummy!

Fugo grinned back, he was so happy to be married to another man and not in a gang fighting for his life. 

"Lars, damn, you're eating a whole lot of salt, bae." Fugo grabbed Lars by the throat, "Did I get you pregnant?"

"Nope! Just not feeling well..." Lars coughed, his breath more airy than usual. "I think I caught something."

"You're a little pink, Lars."

The bubblegum looking ass fell to the ground, he writhed in pain.


End file.
